playing around

for the past year or so i’ve been in a “playing around” or experimental/educational phase with my art, trying to not put pressure on myself to make things that will sell or to try to sell whatever it is that i’m making. this is a very different mindset about my creativity than i’ve had most of my life, as my art and craft has usually been a side hustle to make me money, with a very direct correlation between the time i spend making it and how much i can receive by selling it. i’ve always been focused on producing a “product” and been concerned with what would appeal to my audience, even when it came to my more personal art.

and it’s not that i don’t eventually want to get back to selling – in fact, that is actually the end game, to revive my art business so i’m making a significant part of my overall income from it – but for now i wanted to give myself the space and freedom to investigate new styles, new media, new techniques, new thought processes about art-making, and for the first time in my life really develop an art PRACTICE. like, show up every day (or close to it) in the studio and see what happens. instead of just feeling stuck and saying i’m having creative block or that inspiration isn’t there – which usually results in me just throwing my hands in the air and not making anything for a long time – i’m showing up daily in hopes that inspiration will eventually find me right where i need to be, in the studio playing around with my art supplies.

each day i try to do SOMETHING, anything. a page in one of my sketchbooks. a small canvas or wooden board. a collage. or even just painting collage papers of different colors of paint, practicing mixing colors. most days it’s some kind of sketchbook page that may or may not be an complete composition. maybe it’s just a scrape of paint, or using a brush i’m not accustomed to using to see what it can do. or i’m trying colors next to each other. or seeing what i can use around the house to make interesting textures. most of it doesn’t look like anything cohesive, but hopefully will add up to knowledge in my head about how to do things and one day i can put all that together into a finished piece.

so far i’m doing pretty great for march, in terms of showing up for myself in the studio.

one of the things i’ve been playing with is this large 2’x4’ wooden panel that was repurposed from a discount-store readymade wall art piece. i don’t even remember what was on it originally but it now has a layer of gesso, then a layer of paper ephemera collaged down with gel medium, a few experimental image transfers using gel medium, and now several different layers of paint, sanded in between. i have NO IDEA where it’s going or what the final look will be but i’m having fun playing along the way and am really loving what the surface is looking like, with many layers of paint and paper showing through here and there.

i love my orbital sander. the funny thing is, i didn’t even remember i had one until a month or so ago. i remember a long time ago having a palm sander but i used it until it died. i guess i bought this sander – or maybe someone gave it to me? – to replace the dead one but i honestly had completely forgotten i had it until i went poking around in my shed and found it in a plastic bin with a bunch of other tools. (after the shed collapsed during hurricane ida and a bunch of stuff got ruined because it was exposed to the elements, i started trying to store everything in plastic bins in case it happens again.)

so i’ve been experimenting with different sandpaper grit to see how much paint comes off and what different effects i can get. but honestly, this wood panel will probably get several more layers of paint before i have any idea where it’s going. but i’ll be excited to see where it ends up!

if you want to keep up with my daily art playtime, i’ve been posting occasionally on my instagram page for my art biz. every once in a while i will post a story too. and one day i’ll get brave enough to start doing some reels or maybe even – gasp – a live! i’ve always really resisted the need for artists and makers to put so much of themselves out there but i am also simultaneously addicted to social media so i guess why not? i suppose we’ll see. but for now, my IG has snaps of my sketchbook pages and the occasional small canvas/boards i’m working on. they don’t look like much at this point but hopefully it’ll all come together soon.

art podcasts i’m listening to

this is just a quick post to shout out a few art podcasts i’ve been listening to. i’m a podcast junkie, a habit that started years back because i spend a lot of time in my car driving around all day to pet clients and walking dogs. it helps pass the time and makes me feel less like it’s time “wasted” and listening to podcasts that are educational and/or motivational to me makes the time feel more productive. not all of what i listen to is educational or motivational though – there’s plenty that is just entertaining and just helps pass the time. but lately, i’ve been spending less time with those and the newsy/political podcasts and much more with podcasts about the process of being an artist and of making art.

aside from the occasional interview with artists i admire on shows like fresh air, on being, death sex and money, the ezra klein show, and other more mainstream, interview style podcasts, i wanted to find shows that focus more on creativity and creating. the first podcast i started spending time with years ago was debbie millman’s design matters. as one of the OG podcasters, debbie has really honed her interviewing skills over the past 18+ years and she features some really interesting creative types and focuses on what makes them do whatever it is that they do. I often haven’t heard of the people she interviews but they are always thought-provoking discussions of how and why people do the work and have the lives they do. interviewees are only rarely visual artists – last november she did a fabulous interview with mickalene thomas – and skew heavily to the design world (though she frequently interviews writers, musicians, actors, etc.), but the topics of creativity and motivation are universal with all her guests and the interviews go deep into creators’ lives. highly recommended for not just artists and creatives but everyone.

last summer when i started a free online art course with art2life’s nicholas wilton, i discovered he had a weekly podcast simply called art2life and i quickly consumed the entire back catalog. his shows alternate between interviews with other artists, coaches and other creatives and monologues that are more introspective and motivational. nick’s appeal to me is that he delves a lot into the psyche of being an artist and the reality of what life as an artist is like, both the highs and the lows. you can tell he’s someone who has had a lot of therapy and he approaches teaching and coaching from a psychological perspective. i joke that he’s very woo-woo californian, but i love this about him and it’s what keeps me coming back. i relate to him. i’ve written a lot already in previous posts about art2life and his online art courses spark and CVP, so you can go back and read those for more background. but his podcast topics run the full range from technique like creating texture to art business topics like selling your work to internal struggles like confidence, and he’s done some great interviews with other artists (not always famous ones) about their work and their process, though i tend to like his solo podcasts that delve deep into more personal topics of artist life.

fail like an artist is a relatively recent find, from artists phoebe gander and julie battisti, both of whom are based in new zealand. it’s a very conversational style humorous show themed around all the ways they’ve both failed as artists, with topics like “failing to find a style,” “failing at commissions,” “failing at varnishing,” and “failing at instagram.” they discuss all the things they did wrong in learning how to do things right and laugh at themselves for how spectacularly they initially failed. the show is funny and also helps you realize that everyone gets it wrong sometimes and that failure is just part of the learning process; don’t be afraid to fail! the show only began this year so they are currently on episode 9, “failing at art and motherhood.” but i look forward to each new show as it’s a novel angle for discussing issues and topics relevant to life as an artist.

the newest art podcast i’m loving is called art juice, by louise fletcher and alice sheridan, both of whom are british artists. louise is another online art teacher who i’ve been checking out. she has an online artist community called art tribe that is subscription based and offers a lot of great content including masterclasses in a variety of topics from mindset to techniques to the business of art, as well as many tutorials and interviews with other artists. there’s also a facebook community for those in art tribe to post their work and get feedback. when i didn’t end up taking art2life’s CVP, i decided to sign up for a few months of art tribe (it’s only $25/month so quite a bargain for all the content included) to keep my learning journey going. the podcast began in 2019 and covers a lot of topics from process and technique to mindset and lots of interviews with other artists. the style of the show is very down to earth and conversational, usually with both hosts talking though recently they’ve begun to explore each doing shows alone. as a middle aged artist trying to refind myself, i can identify a lot with louise who is a few years older than me but started her art journey in midlife and has managed to become quite successful. both louise and alice are abstract painters whose styles i like quite a bit so i enjoy hearing them talk about their work and others’.

so that’s what i’m listening to right now. do you have a favorite podcast about art, life as an artist, art technique, the business of art or just generally about creativity? please share it in the comments as i’m always looking for more to add to my playlist.

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i mean, while you’re here, you might as well. right?

if you managed to land on this blog page, i would like to think it’s because you followed a link somewhere regarding my art or a facebook or twitter or instagram post i made, most likely about my art or life as an artist or, well, who knows what.

i am just in the starting phase of accumulating signups for this theoretical newsletter, but i promise once i do start sending it out, it won’t be all that frequently and it won’t be as verbose as i am here on this blog or on my social media. i really just want to have a way to reach folks in case for some reason social media sites go down or go away (i mean, it could happen) or something happens to this blog. if i have your email for my list, then i still have a basic way to reach you to keep you updated about what’s going on with my art/business.

maybe sometime in the (hopefully near) future i might have a painting in an art show somewhere. or maybe i’ll actually end up with paintings i want to sell. or who knows what else might happen now that i’m trying to take my art more seriously. and i want to be able to keep you informed. i mean, if you want to be informed.

so if you do, sign up! it’s on this page at the bottom of the right-hand sidebar if you’re on a desktop or laptop, and if you’re on mobile it’s waaayyyyyy down at the bottom of the page. just keep scrolling and you’ll see the mailchimp logo down there. or you could just use this link.

thank you! i appreciate it. (tell yer friends!)

art as business

so even while i feel like i have taken a pause from creating art specifically to sell – which is what i’ve done most of my life with the things i’ve made – in favor of education, experimentation and exploration, i need to be thinking about refocusing my art business and ways to use my lifetime of creative output and maybe my writing skills to earn some passive or low-effort income. my art biz hasn’t really made much money in the last few years and since i do claim it as a business on my taxes (because of the years when i was more successful and made more money), i need to show some profit or i’m at risk of them considering it a hobby, in which case i lose the ability to write off expenses. so diversifying income streams needs to be a focus once again. i used to be much better about this, with all my various designs on print on demand websites offering so many different products. but i haven’t updated any of them in quite a while and a lot of my listings are out of date or broken. i’m gonna make some effort to update these sites and maybe consolidate in one place if possible. stay tuned.

i’m also rethinking how i use this website. i’ve always just thought of it as a vanity site, a space to talk about my art and my thoughts about my creativity. but maybe i could make it more useful, discussing process and tools and more of the nuts and bolts about what i do and how, even as i am still exploring and experimenting. and in so doing, perhaps it would make it more appealing to more readers. (currently hardly anyone reads this blog outside of my friend circle but i’d like to work on getting a bit more of a readership, which also means i need to step up my social media game as pertains to my art posts, to drive folks here.) even if no one else reads it, doing this will make it much more interesting for me to write and will perhaps help me be more organized and think of my art practice as a business.

as part of this, i am thinking about ways to monetize. i hate that word. and i hate that capitalism is necessary but i gotta feed myself and my cat and pay the rent somehow. plus art supplies ain’t cheap! so i have to think outside of the box, beyond just selling my actual creations, to other ways i can make money as an artist and a writer about art.

so i’ve decided to give amazon affiliates another go. (yes, i hate amazon and i don’t even subscribe to prime but i also still use it occasionally and i know most people do too.) i signed up for amazon affiliates once before, back in 2016 when i started my patreon thinking i’d be writing a lot about stuff i could link to, but in the end, i really didn’t. so my account was inactive and eventually deactivated. i just signed up for it again and thought, well maybe i can start doing a series of shorter blog posts about the tools of the trade – paint, brushes, canvases, and other tools – that i use in my painting practice, most of which can be found on amazon of course. i’ve had a lot of trial and error over the years and i have learned a thing or two. maybe some of that info would be helpful to others, and hey, if they buy something using the links to those things on amazon, i’ll get a tiny kickback. but even if they don’t, maybe it will cause folks to want to read my art blog more and help me shape a direction i want this blog to go in beyond just being a vanity site.

whatcha think? i’m also thinking about doing some posts about art podcasts i’m listening to, art books i’m reading/have read, maybe a run down of all the online art teachers i’ve been taking classes from. if nothing else all this will better explain where i am in my head about my art and art in general. again, maybe all this is only interesting to my friends and extended social circle who have supported my artwork over the years, but i feel like i have to give it a go.

i have my thinking cap on about all this. but i wanted to preface whatever i end up doing by being transparent about the fact that most product links in future posts will be affiliate links so if you happen upon my blog posts and are interested in whatever i’m writing about and you want to support me, use my links to make your orders! thanks y’all.

oh, and also, there’s a shiny new paypal “donate” button up at the top of the sidebar menu. i keep going back and forth about whether to do patreon again, but in the meantime, if anyone feels moved at any time to donate to my ongoing art supply and/or education fund, it’s always appreciated. or if you feel like you’re getting anything out of reading whatever i’m writing, $ tips are always nice. 😍

(/shameless plug)

on disappointment

well, after not really sleeping all weekend and having serious anticipation anxiety, waiting to hear if i got one of the scholarships for the CVP class i mentioned in the previous post… i just got the email that told me i did NOT get in. “overwhelming amount of scholarship applications” blah blah blah. i find it so hard to believe considering how hard it is to even find out that there IS a scholarship for this program. it’s not listed anywhere on their website and they never mention it. i only found out because someone said something about it in the chat during a live call – and even then the official response was just “email us.” but at the same time, it’s no wonder they have a kajillion scholarship applicants because the course is really quite expensive, putting it out of the reach of most working class and/or low income folks. i guess it is geared to those who do have the money for it, as they are a business with a lot of staff and expenses to pay in order to keep the whole a2l empire going. i get it. nick and the whole team are great and deserve to make a good living doing what they do, inspiring artists to overcome their fears and create. i’m just sad to not be joining in the 2023 cohort. it sucks being poor.

i hope the other artists i’ve made facebook friends with who applied got in. many of them are on disability or are retired and living on a fixed income. i’m not, so i get it. but the timing is definitely not right for me to go $2.5K in debt right now so oh well. maybe i’ll try again next year.

it does however i guess free me up from what i was already thinking was going to be an insanely busy spring. not that i’m going to stop painting – i won’t, in fact i’m thinking i’ll go back over the spark videos again and see if i learn anything new. but i do have some busy work weekends of petsitting coming up and i’m trying to scheme my way for a weekend trip in april and festival season is almost upon us. spring in new orleans is a very busy time of year. so i guess i won’t have to forego all of that, as i’d previously thought if i were to be in CVP.

maybe the universe has other plans for me.

i know it’s ok to be disappointed. this too shall pass. back to the proverbial drawing board… or sketchbook.

post mardi gras update

now that mardi gras has passed, it’s back to business as usual, which for me has been all about my art. (you can see more pics of my mardi gras adventures on my personal instagram, or if you follow me on facebook.) the chaos and whirlwind that is carnival sort of caused me to pause on my actual painting, save for some sketchbook playtime, in favor of costume prep. but i was able to continue to follow along with the live calls on the free art2life workshop in the lead up to the beginning of CVP. (if you don’t know what i’m talking about please go back and read the last post.)

so, i made a decision about CVP. as much as i really want to take it, i could not put myself that much in debt given my current financial status. it just wouldn’t be prudent and would stretch me really thin on a month to month basis in terms of covering my actual expenses, even on a 12 month payment plan. but i discovered a few days ago that they do have a scholarship program for those in financial need, so i applied. i don’t know if they will consider me to be in enough need to give me a scholarship or not, but i really do hope so. i get that there are probably plenty of others with greater financial need than me who are more deserving (folks on disability, or seniors on a fixed income, etc.) but i’ve pretty much been low income my whole life and right now i’m lower than i have been in a long time. i have no way of knowing how many folks they give scholarships to each session, or how many apply, so i don’t know my odds. but i had to go for it.

so it’s in the hands of the universe now. i turned in my application on sunday. (yes, in the midst of total carnival chaos!) the deadline was today at noon. CVP starts with a welcome call tomorrow but they don’t let you know if you got the scholarship until monday, so even if i do get in i will be playing a bit of catch-up. but that’s ok. i will be so elated if they do allow me in. (i didn’t ask for a full scholarship; i offered to pay 25% which is about all i think i can reasonable pay off over the next year. though if my finances change, i’m happy to kick in more.)

so wish me luck or if you are so inclined, visualize me getting in so i can continue this deep dive i’ve started into my creative expression and all the things that have blocked me over the years from truly succeeding as the artist i’ve always known i am. as i’ve mentioned before, last year started this new phase for me, with the (wo)manifesting of the extra rooms in my house which afforded me a studio space in my home. (this is something i never thought would ever happen and i willed it into existence last year!)

and then i took the art2life breadcrumbs challenge in the late summer, which was a free workshop that introduced me to how nick wilton and art2life approach teaching art. i immediately resonated with what he was saying, how he taught, and was convinced to take the paid Spark class in the fall. i feel like Spark really gave me some a-ha moments and started breaking down all the nonsense i’ve been telling myself my whole life about art and my abilities. i feel like i discovered some threads… that i really want to keep going with, pull harder on, dive deeper on. which is why i did the most recent free workshop and want to continue with CVP. i feel like i have momentum. and that now is the time. i fear if i don’t i’m going to have a hard time on my own keeping it going. like, i’ve been introduced to the principles that art2life teaches but now i need to really integrate them into how i paint. the structure of the classes, the recordings, the lessons, really help me.

anyways. i am accepting all woo and good wishes for best outcomes. and thank you. especially to all of you who have supported me over the years in my art journey, by listening to me talk endlessly about this stuff, or who’ve read my blogs about it, who’ve bought my art and craft, supported my patreon when i had it, or who’ve just generally encouraged me when i haven’t felt confident about what i was doing. i feel like i’m finally on the verge of figuring it out, of gaining that confidence i’ve lacked, so i can finally have a self-sustaining art practice that is meaningful to me and hopefully others.

for now, it’s back to the dogs and cats and to clean up this MESS of a house and studio post mardi gras costume making and general carnival life for the past few weeks. i’ll post again when i’m notified about the scholarship.