Tag Archives: cvp

hurricanes and political campaigns…

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time just keeps flying. why is it the older we get, time seems to move so much faster? i guess it’s because we’re more aware of the eventual end of our own personal timeclock, even though we don’t know exactly when that will be. we do know that there’s less time left on the clock than we’ve already experienced. and i don’t know about you, but that weighs on me every single day.

sigh. well here we are in mid september. i’ve survived yet another hurricane hitting new orleans, francine. it was really quite a minor hurricane, a cat 2 only momentarily so mostly a cat 1. and the whole southern side of the storm on the other side of the eye wall had no rain, just crazy winds. but those winds were enough to make my power go out at my house at 11:30pm on the night after most of the storm had passed, and the power stayed off for exactly 36 hours. long enough to melt all the ice i’d frozen beforehand in the freezer to help keep it cool; long enough to require me to spend $25 on ice trying to keep the freezer going and to fill up a cooler with the stuff from the fridge; long enough for all that ice to start melting and some of my food to go off, resulting in me getting really sick after eating a frozen pizza that had meat on it which i thought had remained frozen, but i guess not. yeah, that was no fun. i really hate throwing up! so now i’ve thrown out all the stuff that was perishable from my fridge and freezer cuz i don’t want to have that experience ever again. it was very unpleasant. and expensive, as i’d *just* done a $150 costco run the weekend before. oh well.

anyways, i thought i’d be happy to have a few days off work (wednesday, the day of the storm, and thursday, the cleanup day after when many still didn’t have power, including me) and that i’d get some painting done, but that didn’t happen. turns out sitting in my unairconditioned studio, even though the temps outside were pretty bearable, isn’t very motivating.

i never finished that last series of mixed media paintings i talked about in the last post. they’ve gone to the not-done pile that is almost overtaking my tiny studio space. but i started a new series, covering up 4 older 16” x 20” canvases that weren’t going anywhere. i decided to let the thing that’s been exciting and motivating me the past few months – politics – inspire me in the studio. last week before the storm i rather spur of the moment had some play time in my art journal – something i haven’t done in a really long time. what i came up with was a sort of deconstructed american flag.

i really hate the color combo of red, white and blue. i’ve always thought it quite garish. and i’ve recoiled from patriotism in any form since a child. i hated having to say the pledge of allegiance and often did not, even in elementary school. something about being forced to do so never sat right with me. so the democrats’ current effort to “reclaim” patriotism doesn’t really work for me, even though i have let myself get a bit swept up in the vibes of kamala’s campaign. but flag waving patriotism is not something i can get excited about. however i did decide that using the colors of red, white and blue and playing with the elements of the flag while adding one of the themes of kamala’s presidential campaign, “freedom,” might be a good art challenge.

i ended up really liking how it turned out and so thought, well, i have all these ugly canvases sitting around just waiting to be covered up – why not try to do a series of actual paintings based on this same concept? the thing that started it all was that i (re)discovered a bunch of protest signs i’d printed out on heavyweight paper in 2016 for various street demos against trump’s “winning” of the election that year. one of them said “democracy is dying, do something.” so i tore off the “do something” part, thinking of michelle obama’s dnc speech this year, and glued it down with gloss medium onto one of the canvases that i’d painted blue. and then i added some stripes, though i ended up not liking the original fatter stripes and went back and made skinnier, messier ones like i did in my art journal, which i’m still not super happy with but it’s closer to working. and i started adding all kinds and sizes of stars with the eventual goal of having 50 or maybe even 56 to include the territories.

i’ve added more since i took this picture but it gives you an idea of where i’m at with these. there are 4 canvases and the others use other slogans from the current presidential campaign like “hope is making a comeback,” “a new way forward,” and “joy.” but “do something” is the furthest along as it was the first i started and feels like it has the most energy to me.

i’m not really sure where any of these are going or if i’ll even finish them but it’s been a fun challenge to wrap my brain around. i spent some time this weekend creating my own collage papers with paint and then cutting out various sizes of stars to collage in on these canvases. i think that is working but i feel like the paint/background needs more layers so some will likely get covered up and i’ll have to make more. the composition is lacking something – maybe just some really big stars, not sure – but i keep playing with these whenever i have a little time.

(i still think red, white and blue is awful but it’s made a little less garish by layering and scraping several different shades of blue with grays and whites and creams for a more distressed look. these canvases have a lot of texture on them from underlying layers since they are cover-ups so that is helping.)

what else? i’m still in the art2life academy but haven’t really utilized much of its resources beyond the facebook group. not sure i should stay in it but every time i think about quitting i find some videos in the vault that i want to watch, so i don’t. nick sure is good at marketing! lol

louise fletcher’s free find your joy taster course came and went. i signed up for it just so i could get the emails with the video links and i watched some of them while painting but didn’t actively engage with her prompts. and had no interest in going through FYJ the full course a second time, despite the deep discount for alums. my year-long access to FYJ 2023 ends today so i spent some time last night downloading all the pdfs and copy/pasting some of the lesson info so i’d have a record of it if i ever want to go back to it. i like louise and will keep following her on youtube and her podcast art juice plus i get her newsletter but i don’t think i’ll be taking any more of her courses.

nick also had his free taster course breadcrumbs which i also signed up for but didn’t really engage with other than to listen in on some of the videos of live events. his free taster is the lead-up to the paid spark program which i did in 2022 and enjoyed but i have no interest in doing that again, especially when i still have access to all the CVP material that i really need to go back over again.

i have a stupid busy work week this week so not sure i’ll have much time in the studio. it’s always the challenge – how to make time to paint when what i do for a living is get paid to give my time to other peoples’ pets. i racked up a $750 emergency room bill from the fall i took in my backyard in july so i need to work as much as i can to make the money to pay that off, but it leaves me sad and pining for my studio time.

it being september i am already thinking about how to use the holiday shopping time as a way to sell some paintings but at the same time don’t feel like i have a lot i’m proud of and wanting to sell. last year’s “open studio” was fun and made me a little bit of cash but my house really isn’t set up for it and i don’t have the energy or the setup/supplies to do an art market, so not sure how i will do it. maybe some kind of online sale/drop is the best option for me. we’ll see.

that’s all for now. thanks for reading. i’ll write again when i feel like i have something to say.

summer…

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well the summer is zinging along at what feels like a rapid pace. cvp feels like a distant memory already, even though all the unfinished/in-process boards are still littering my studio – especially my final series boards. i’ve returned to them again and again and while i’ve decided to try to just keep pushing through on the designs i’ve got going right now instead of covering them up YET AGAIN, they are still not finished and i keep having to let them sit for a while in between passes. maybe one day they will resolve in a way that makes me happy.

but i’m not letting them bog me down. i’ve started working on a new series of 14″ x 14″ canvases. (i don’t know why this size other than that i had a 6 pack of them from the last sale i hit at michael’s and they just felt right.) i started off thinking this was going to be a sort of simple, minimalist, color-and-line-based series (which the first one kind of is), but as i have continued working on more of them in the series, they’ve gotten weirder and mixed media/collage has crept in.

here’s a sneak peek at the first two in the series – not sure they are done yet but this is where they stand right now. they are both untitled at the moment, though that may change. (not the best picture because of the glare, sorry!)

i’ve been inspired by many different artists i follow on instagram who work in a minimalist style with acrylic paint – some who focus on color, or who use limited palettes, or who feature line prominently. (too numerous to name them all.) but i’ve also recently got really excited about the mixed media work of bibby gignilliat who is part of the art2life extended family of artists and made an appearance last week on our cvp “art of business” bonus zoom webinar – her energy is infectious and i just love how free and joyous her work is. truly #goals. she makes a lot of her own collage papers and uses a lot of found paper and other scraps, which i relate to, as i am constantly picking up things that i find on my dog walking travels for future art use. she also uses more industrial materials like house paint and polyurethane in addition to acrylic paints. i love her use of color and bold lines. her work just looks like she’s having the time of her life making it!

so yeah, i’m not trying to emulate bibby’s work or that of any of the artists i follow on instagram, but i am inspired by them and i do get ideas from them. this series feels like a departure for me… but not really. but it’s definitely gelling better, quicker. i guess we’ll see where the series ends up but i’m liking these first two pieces so far even though i’m not quite sure they are done yet. the first one is acrylic paint, acrylic markers and pencil; the second one is acrylic paint, acrylic markers, homemade collage paper, and found library card and drywall mesh scrap. (the second canvas is also a cover-up of a previous painting attempt so the surface has some weird textures to it.)

stay tuned for the rest in the series. #3 and #4 are mid process and giving me some trouble. #5 has just been started and i just got an idea for #6. i want to finish all 6 and see what that feels like to have a full series to show y’all!

in other art news… after cvp ended i took the plunge and signed up for the academy (which includes the studio, the 24/7 zoom room available for art2life artists to connect and paint together). i did it knowing there was a 30 day money back guarantee, but thinking i’d probably pay for the first month or two to check it out and then decide if i wanted to stay. i’ve not really had time or inclination to dive very deep into the academy vaults or participate in a lot of the live zooms or the studio so far, and with my 30 days coming up soon, i almost convinced myself to quit it all together and get my money back.

but in the time it took for them return my email telling them i wanted my money back, i watched a few interviews on the academy site and realized there are a lot i’d like to see and that maybe i do need a month or two with the vaults… so i changed my mind and decided to not make any changes. i’ll continue for now and maybe pay for another month as a birthday present to myself (it’s $77/month so not cheap!) and then i’ll quit. unless of course all of sudden i get really prolific and start selling a lot of art so i can afford to just keep it!

i do really want to go back through the cvp material to focus on the stuff i didn’t really finish or digest well during the course, but i also feel that i should follow this rare spurt of inspiration that is making me excited to explore these mixed media pieces. i have a year to go back to the cvp stuff so there’s no rush. it feels so good to have something feeling like it’s flowing and that i actually like.

so that’s what’s up… for now. i’ll post again when i have something to say and/or show you.

the end of cvp… and onto the academy!

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this is not really a review or even wrap-up of the 12-week online class cvp (creative visionary program) but rather it is just my now what? kinda post. i think it’s gonna take me a while to be able to really assess how i feel about the overall program and how i did with it, because i’m still doing it. i got behind, skipped over a few assignments here and there, and have not finished my final series… so i still have a ways to go. life got in the way – well really, work got in the way, mostly. my pet biz has been really busy and i’ve had an uncharacteristic amount of overnight sitting, which i don’t really like doing but which is financially very lucrative so sometimes i say yes. but when i do it, i’m not really living at my house and therefore not able to spend time in my studio cuz i’m being paid to spend my time with clients’ pets. hopefully july will allow me to get back into my home studio groove. but all this is to say, i’ll do another post at a later date about how i feel about the class and my progress.

a few shots from my art instagram (@artbymagsdotcom) from the past few weeks

but yeah, cvp is over. last week was the last week of classes and the wrap-up call was this past tuesday. i have access to the materials until march of next year though, so i can go back over anything i haven’t finished or feel i need more work on. i haven’t really done that so much with the last class i took, find your joy, which i lose access to in august right before she offers her free class and the 2024 version of find your joy. but i don’t really feel i want to anymore. i think i’d rather keep the momentum i have going with art2life and cvp. like i feel like i’ve found my community that i vibe with. i tried fletcher’s community art tribe for a some months before i took find your joy and while i appreciate all that it offered (masterclasses in all kinds of things, group challenges, members’ studio tours, etc – just tons of content plus a facebook group), it seemed mostly based in the uk and europe and i just never felt quite like it fit me. art2life is based in california and while there are people from all over the world involved in all the art2life courses, for whatever reasons i just feel more at home in this community.

there is also a membership-type community with art2life like fletcher’s art tribe – it’s called the academy. but it’s only available to those who have gone through cvp, which somewhat limits the membership. (i think they said there’s about 1800 in it currently.) it’s sort of the next step, and a way to reinforce what we learned in cvp and also keep in touch with the coaches and community. and unlike cvp, where we did not get any one-on-one feedback other from the other cvp students – we are taught how to critique ourselves – in the academy you can get feedback from coaches on weekly calls. there’s also another perk called the studio (which can be done separately for a lower fee if you don’t want to be in the academy) where you basically can dial in to a 24/7 available zoom to paint with other artists, which i think is pretty cool. painting is a very solitary endeavor and it can get lonely; not everyone can afford a studio in a space with a lot of other artists, and not everyone lives in a city or area where there is a thriving artist community. so this offers a way to connect to and grow a community of other artists who are working with your same vocabulary about art, because we’ve all taken cvp.) nick wilton himself – the art guru at the helm of art2life – even makes appearances in the studio painting for hours on end with others.

i wasn’t initially thinking i’d sign up for the academy because i feel like i still have so much work to do to “finish” cvp but i went ahead and signed up today for at least one month and if i feel like it’s just too much or i won’t really use it or i’d just rather wait til next year, i can cancel within 30 days and get my money back. i mean, i do really love the idea of it and look forward to checking it out to see if i think it will help me stay focused, stay on track, and keep painting. but i also haven’t made much of a dent in the cost of cvp which i put on my paypal credit hoping to pay it off within 6 months to avoid financing charges – it’s due at the end of september. so adding another monthly art charge on top of all that i need to come up with to pay off cvp… well, it doesn’t seem smart. but hey, i didn’t know how i was gonna pay off find your joy either and i managed to do it without any financing fees. so maybe i’ll pull it off.

i just need to get painting, need to actually finish some things that i can put up for sale. because i did recently sell an abstract piece i made in 2023 on etsy. it was one of my favorite pieces i’ve ever made in an abstract style and i even submitted it last year to the art2life online art show. (it was not selected. but that just goes to prove that rejection from a juried show is not an indication of a piece’s worth.) so i know there is an audience out there for my abstract work. i just need to fight through the resistance i’m experiencing to actually finish.

hopefully july and august will be a bit kinder schedule-wise to my art endeavors. it’s such a hard balance, wanting to scale back the pet biz so i have more time for art but also needing the pet biz to not just pay my bills but also fund my art endeavors. but the pet biz takes me away (literally) from my art endeavors. this is the struggle i’ve been in for the past decade or so with my art, but i’m closer than i’ve ever been to figuring it out and i feel better armed with art knowledge than i’ve ever been. i just need to buckle down.

so that’s where i’m at right now. i will at some future point go into much greater detail about the cvp program itself and my experience with it, and now that i’ve signed up, i can also tell you more about the academy after i’ve experienced it for some time. but for now, i’m just trying to get through the rest of june and my heavy petsitting schedule. and hopefully get back to painting!

i made it to week 9 of cvp!

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we are in the homestretch now in the online art course i’m taking (cvp), in the middle of week 9 (out of 12). since i last posted here, we’ve covered a lot of color theory – color value, harmony, temperature, saturation, compliments, etc. – and had a week on texture. there was a “rest” week in there too, where we didn’t have any assignments and were supposed to either rest or use the time to get caught up. i did a little of both.

i wouldn’t say i’m entirely caught up with the course but i’ve muddled my way through it. i’ve watched all the lesson videos, done most of the lesson exercises, watched all the zoom coaching calls and done the exercises from those. i’ve even watched most of the bonus videos in the portal and gone through all the “helpful hints” pdfs – the written supplements to what we are taught in the lesson videos and coaching calls.

and i’ve done a pretty good job of painting in my journal regularly, not always daily but most days. i also began in my art journal, when we started the class, a daily gratitude practice, writing it down. and that i have done every single day since i started cvp. it’s how i start my day each morning while i’m drinking my coffee and/or eating my breakfast and i do really think it’s helped shift how i feel and start my days.

my first cvp journal is now full (the one on the left) so i’m starting a 2nd journal!

but what has fallen through the cracks is all the actual weekly assignment boards – usually for each week/principle we are supposed to paint 1-3 boards to integrate that knowledge into our painting practice. i did ok for the early weeks when we were working in black and white on value and contrast but once color was introduced, i got a little overwhelmed. i haven’t really “finished” any of those and some weeks i maybe only started one board instead of 2 or 3.

but it’s ok – i’ll go back to them. i’ve wanted to just keep moving along so i could keep up with the pace of the class and the live calls. but this also means i haven’t been participating as much in the social media/community portion of the class, at least for the last few weeks, since i haven’t had as much to share. (we have a class-specific social media forum on a platform/app called circle, so the course could be moved off of facebook. this is where we are supposed to be posting what we paint, sharing with the other students, offering feedback to each other, etc.) i’ve tried to keep posting on my instagram feed, mostly stuff from my art journal, and have found a handful of other cvp students on insta and we interact. but it’s not the same as participating on circle where all 3000+ of the cvp students are.

oh well. i think i’m doing pretty good considering i have a full time job and there’s been a lot going on to distract me, i.e. jazzfest. (you’d have to have no job/be retired and have no distractions for 12 weeks i think to have the time to do everything to completion in the weekly timeframes. it’s really a lot of information, which is why we have access to the materials/videos/portal for an entire year, so we can go back through whatever we missed.)

anyways, here we are in week 9 and for the rest of the weeks, we will be working on our final series of paintings. this week we are to start them, give them a first and maybe second pass. just get something going. play. experiment. we don’t need to know where it’s going or have a plan. so i jumped in and did so, on monday. i have 3 boards and a throwaway board (the one furthest away on the table in the pic below) that all have a first pass on them and they don’t even look awful! i actually kinda like some parts of what i have going on them!

(i’ve now done a second pass that i didn’t take a photo of, but this is where i started.)

last night i began a 7 day overnight pet sit for a geriatric dog and cat, so i won’t be at my house a lot and therefore won’t get to spend a lot of time in my studio for the next week. but this class has taught me that all i need is 20-30 minutes at a time… so maybe i’ll be able to keep working on these a little. and even if i can’t, i have at least done what i was supposed to do for week 9, and the sit ends on tuesday so i’ll still have time in week 10 to do the next step.

so yeah, that’s what’s going on. this week’s lessons have all been about process, understanding what the art2life/nick wilton process is for making intuitive abstract art. it may not end up being the best process for me or any one individual taking the class, but i am hoping it can be mine… at least for abstract work. i hope i’m absorbing it, because it’s all about being present, paying attention to what you like, what lights you up, gives you energy, makes you feel alive, and then infusing that into your work. and if i’m to be honest, i’ve spent much of my 40s and 50s not feeling very alive. on auto pilot. shut down. checked out. and my inability to make art that i like, that feels like me, has been the result. sure, i’ve had a few blips in there of inspiration, of connection, of feeling that flow of the universe… but it has been fleeting.

so the whole reason i took this class is because i knew it was more than just an art class. it’s kind of an art class mixed with a self-help/self-discovery woo-woo group experience, perfect for my midlife crisis. it’s teaching me how to use my art practice for self discovery, to find the me that’s been buried, while i still have time to explore and enjoy it. and when i do, the art i make will be an artifact of that journey.

i’ll leave you with this quote from this week’s lessons on process: “try to look at your art practice as a journey of healing and a way to stay present.” yes indeed.

stay tuned to see where my final series of paintings go!

heading into week 6 of CVP…

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it’s been a whirlwind so far. keeping up with this class is harder than the last one i took because there are more weekly live zoom coaching calls and much more video content. it’s a lot to physically get through and even more to really digest.

the image above is just a little montage of some of the work i’ve done so far in the class. (you can see continuing updates and more explanation on my art instagram feed.) unlike FYJ where we worked on watercolor paper, in CVP we are working both in an art journal (a modified bullet journal where we take notes as well as paint) and on 12″x12″ birch plywood panels. painting on wood (prepped with gloss medium to seal and then primed with 2 coats of gesso) is really different than painting on watercolor paper with 1 coat of gesso, in terms of how the paint acts. plus we aren’t doing as many multiples as we did in FYJ where we worked on six pieces at a time (from one big sheet of paper taped off); for most weekly CVP assignments, we’ll be working on 2-3 boards at a time (front and back) as well as doing various smaller exercises and a daily art practice in our journal. it feels like a very different process and my results feel really different. not better or worse, just different.

you may be wondering why in the world i’ve chosen to spend so much time and money taking another online art class that is basically going over much of the same material as the last one. well, first of all, i feel like i need to really master the basics. i didn’t go to art school and so have always felt like i missed out on basic art education. i did go to a liberal arts college (almost 40 years ago!) that had some art studio courses as part of an art history major and i took as many of them that i could, but they were for the most part intro level and i don’t recall any of them really teaching me basic art theory principles. we were kind of just given supply lists and basic assignments and told to go create. we did group critiques and got some feedback from our instructors, but i never really felt like i was learning how to make my art better. i also spent a LOT of time comparing myself to the more “talented” students and feeling like an imposter, which was not conducive to me really exploring my creativity fully.

we definitely did not go as in-depth on anything the way FYJ and CVP have done. and we certainly did NOT cover “mindset,” which has been invaluable. in CVP, in terms of the lessons covering an art principle (i.e. value, design, color value, etc.) we are shown art historical examples as well as contemporary art examples on coaching call presentations, plus given examples from the work of our 9 coaches who lead those calls as well as live demos. there are also 7 teachers, and 3 guest artists as well as 10 CVP ambassadors (alumni of the program who monitor the various online forums and answer questions)… not to mention the 1500 CVP alums who are taking the class again, who are all contributing. there’s a lot of collective knowledge in the community of the course and the general vibe of the community is so open and helpful and encouraging. every day i get to see a wide variety of art being made, from super beginner to acclaimed professional and everything in between. there’s also a lot of modeling going on as to what different stages of an art career can look like, different paths one can take as an artist to grow your art practice and make a living (or not), etc.

second, taking FYJ and now CVP – as well as all the little free classes i’ve been taking for the past few years – has really helped me establish an honest-to-goddess art practice, which is something i never really had before. yes, i’ve been an artist in various mediums and styles off and on for my entire adult life, but it was just that – off and on. inconsistent. when inspiration struck… which sometimes was not very frequently. at times i went YEARS without making anything. or i would have a productive spurt and then would be frustrated to not have any new ideas for months. i did a lot of staring at blank canvases/sketchbook pages. but now i have learned to show up every single day for at least 5 minutes. (yes there have been days i haven’t painted at all, due to life circumstances. it happens. but for the most part, i show up most days in some way.) i don’t wait for inspiration to strike – i show up so that i’m already there in the studio working when it does. and i’ve learned i can nudge inspiration along by just doing.

however, the main reason i am taking CVP is that it is teaching me – and i am slowly absorbing – how to critique and edit my own work. how not to look for outside validation or feedback but how to think in a way that allows me to apply the art principles we are learning so that i always know how to critique myself, how to proceed, advance, get unstuck, and make my work better. that is really the end goal because that is the key, to me, to being a working artist.

i think i’m still a ways away from that but i can feel myself getting better, that some things are becoming more intuitive. and that i am learning to just keep going when i start feeling stuck or unhappy with how my creating is going. and if i can really get to the place where i can successfully do that with each painting i start – then it will all be worth however much money i’ve paid. because i’ve spent the better part of the past decade bashing my head against the wall in frustration, starting a million paintings with a lot of energy and excitement, only to get to a certain point and lose steam, not know where to go next, or worse yet, completely ruin whatever i had started because of bad decisions made when i didn’t know what to do. and i’ve relied way too much on the validation of friends and collectors, which often is at odds with my own opinion.

so yeah, that’s why i made the decision to do it. and so far, i’m loving it despite it being fairly overwhelming. i look forward to getting through the rest of the art principles and on to our own series of paintings that we work on for the last few weeks of the course. i can’t wait to see what i come up with!

and just like that…. cvp

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sometimes you get to a crossroads in your life when you know in your gut that you have to make bold moves, take big steps, into the scary unknown…. do things that maybe terrify you. you have to just trust your gut, go with your intuition, let the universe guide you, because, well, as they say, it’s later than you think.

this is actually the second time in a year that i’ve made such a big decision. to invest in myself. to keep propelling myself forward instead of allowing myself to stagnate, flounder. to take a chance, bet on myself. to keep going. persist.

last fall i took the big scary leap of taking louise fletcher‘s 12-week find your joy online art class… and though it was challenging, it was totally worth it. i learned a lot, i pushed myself, i took risks and was vulnerable, sharing my progress as the weeks went on via my instagram account. i didn’t come out of it some kind of artistic genius with an instant art career but i definitely made progress and (re)learned some valuable and necessary art theory principles and applied them to abstract painting. and i certainly found joy.

i also learned i do better with some structure and instruction; it helps me feel more connected to what i’m doing and forces me to show up in the studio every day. and i really like having a community of artists around the world going through the same things i am, so we can share our wins and frustrations. i learn a lot from other artists, and also how my challenges and disappointments are not unique to me.

well last week i took another free 5 day class, this one from art2life‘s nicholas wilton, who i’ve taken courses from before. (i’ve taken two previous free classes and paid for spark, a 3-week class.) this freebie was the marketing instrument for his 12 week online course called cvp – creative visionary program. you might recall i really wanted to take it last year (it’s only offered once a year in the spring) but the price seemed undoable and this was before i took find your joy so i also wasn’t sure i was really ready for such an intensive art exploration. i applied for a scholarship nonetheless but did not get one. i was disappointed and moved on but then when find your joy came around in september, i jumped in since it was considerably cheaper.

so this year, the 5 day art2life freebie reminded me what drew me to nick and art2life to begin with. there’s an infectious energy and positivity – one could say woo-woo-ness – to his instruction methods and the community he’s built around art2life. i really respond to it, get energized and inspired by it. so though what was being taught last week was pretty much all info i’d heard from nick before, i tuned in every day and painted along and tried to soak up that energy. and i knew the sales pitch for cvp was coming and i still really wanted to take it but initially thought since i hadn’t yet paid off the last class (though i will by the end of this month) and hadn’t made as much progress as i’d hoped in terms of making art that i can sell, that maybe i shouldn’t sign up for cvp. maybe i should just wait til next year.

on the last day of the freebie, they open enrollment for cvp and i saw that the price was pretty much the same as it was last year; it hadn’t gone up, which was refreshing. part of the sales pitch is they show you a little preview of what it looks like inside the portal where the lessons take place and… i dunno, i saw that and realized, hey, i can do this. i did find your joy and cvp is basically the same format, just more intense. i got a lot out of fyj. i made 80+ pieces of art in 12 weeks! i know how these programs work and though my next three months have some blips in them – overnight pet sits, a beloved coming in town and staying with me, jazzfest, etc. – everything is recorded and i can work around these things. i’ve learned how to make art in 20 minutes here, 30 minutes there. i can do this. and besides, you have the materials for a whole year. (i still have the find your joy materials until september!)

the live call on friday when enrollment opened lasted for several hours and i stayed til the end. but i didn’t even need all that time. it was like the universe was guiding my hand and before i knew it, i’d signed up! it just feels like the right time for me, to keep my momentum going. to keep building on what i’ve learned and keep pushing myself.

so i did it. i just fucking did it. and you know what? it felt great! i had the slightest tinge of second thoughts about the financial investment but then remembered they have a 30 day money back guarantee, no questions asked, so i have that much time to figure out if i’ve made a huge mistake and get my money (credit) back. but i really feel like this is the time for me to do this. i need to keep my creative momentum going to see if there’s really any there there. if after this class i still feel lost and like i don’t know what i’m doing, well then maybe i’ll just stop pushing myself so much and definitely stop spending money on classes. but i really feel like i do so much better when i’m taking a class, and i love the way these classes are set up with online communities where you can interact with all the other students from around the world. you post your art, you get feedback from them, you get feedback from the coaches involved in the class, you get any of your questions answered, you see other people’s art that ranges from beginner to accomplished professional – it’s great, especially for introverts like me who don’t really want to go take in-person classes. at least not yet.

so there you have it. i’m taking cvp this year! it’s the preeminent online art course – nick is the OG of online art gurus. there were over 100,000 people taking the free class! so far there are around 1000 signed up for cvp. (enrollment is open through wednesday of this week, i think, so maybe there will be a few hundred more by the time it closes.) if you are someone who spends any time looking at art on instagram, you will have seen artists who’ve been through this program, who started there or who went through it almost as a rite of passage. many artists take it every year to keep refining their craft. (you get a 75% discount as an alum of the program.) it’s akin to taking a college level course all crammed into 12 weeks. it’s a LOT of information. a lot of exercises. a lot of inner work. we’ll work in both a journal/sketchbook as well as on 12″x12″ wood panels. this is intensive. i know i’m going to get behind but i’ll do my best to hang in there and at least show up for all the live content, even if i have to go back through the whole thing once it’s over.

i know some of you will think i’ve lost my mind, that i’m making bad choices, that i’m getting myself further in debt. maybe i am. but i’ve had this dream since i was young that i wanted to be an artist, i wanted to make my living and my life making art. and in many ways i have done the latter – i’ve made a lot of art and craft over the years, however inconsistently – and i’ve even done the former for spurts of time. but not in a way that i could sustain myself and my practice, and not always in ways that i felt deeply connected to. that’s the goal. i’m not getting any younger and i won’t be able to walk dogs for forever – my body is already having a hard time with it and i’m burnt out emotionally with the work. i have no partner or children to take care of me, no savings or retirement money coming to me other than a very small social security which will not be enough to live on, so right now, this is the best idea i’ve got – to focus on my art, hone my craft, and start making money from it, make it a business that will hopefully bring me more income than i currently make walking dogs, so i can pay off my debts and ease into a “retirement” that looks like making and selling art until i die. if i can pull that off, i might actually live longer. and be happier.

but mostly, i really want to feel connected to what i’m creating again. i want to feel less haphazard about my process, gain more clarity about what direction i want to go in with abstract painting. i want to make some work i’m really proud of, and get to a place where that comes more easily.

so. i’ll be posting on my instagram as the weeks go on and i’ll be trying to find ways to raise money to pay this class off. if you want to support me, i still have a studio full of art from the class last fall, from the past few years, and from even before that – i’d love to get some of this stuff out of here and make a few dollars from any of it. let me know if you wanna come over and look around. or if you’re not local, keep an eye on my etsy shop – i’ll keep adding to it as i have time. (there’s also a ko-fi button on this page for direct donations.) maybe i’ll try to come up with some new sticker and t-shirt ideas to fundraise. who knows.

and if you’re someone who’s been with me on this journey over the years – thank you for always supporting me, financially, emotionally, and otherwise. i hope i’ve brought some joy to your life with stuff i’ve made and i look forward to continuing to do so with even bigger and better art. and if nothing else, i hope my quest, my ongoing artistic journey, my chasing of my dream however inconsistent, i hope it inspires you to keep after your own dreams… before it’s too late. we only have so much time in this realm and the clock is always ticking. do the thing… now, while you can. so you have no regrets.

jump and the net will appear – that’s what i’m doing. it’s scary… but also exhilarating!